In the Senior Room we use a cameo (writing model) to help us learn how to become great writers. Sometimes Mr B shares his own writing, or he uses other writer's examples.
After we read it together as a class and again as pairs, we highlight the parts of the writing model we think are really effective. These parts of the writing we share back to the class because we think they are probably effective writing tools used by the author to hook us in to their work.
When we reflect on the model using the success criteria we again highlight the parts we think prove the writer has been successful, identifying the tools the writer has used.
In this way we use a model to help us write our own piece, trying to use the same tools to create effective writing and enjoy success.
Can you see where we were successful with our writing this week? Check out our published work below.
I stood on the shore. Breathless. The waves thundered and crashed. Foaming.
Aidan's drawing in the sand pictured in my mind. The feeder current. The rip. But where was it? The rip, I had been nervous about the surf since before camp.
Mustering all my courage, I heaved my surf board under my arm, wind blowing against it. Wind pushing me backwards. Wind telling me, "Watch out!"
The foaming waves pushed through my legs, getting deeper. Heart thundering. Beating. Pumping. Adrenalin "What did Aidan say?" I struggled to remember, pushing down my fear, ready to go.
Eyes on Jake. Turn around. Spot the wave. Swinging around on to my board. Feet to the back. Paddle paddle paddle! Heart in my mouth, pounding! One, two, three! Frog hands UP!
Standing. Almost. Slipping, sliding, backwards. Deep breath. Surf, wave, foam and laughter. No longer scared. This is awesome!
by Mr B
Success criteria: How do I know I have been successful?
Help me by highlighting my piece of writing to show examples of these:
Staccato sentences: short, one or two word sentences which build suspense.
Repetition of ideas to create suspense
Powerful verbs that show not tell (ran, sprinted )
Personification: Human characteristics for non human things like chairs. I.E. The chair stood tall.
Powerful adjectives: describing words that use your senses hearing, sight, smell, taste